So it's September, and oh how the summer has gone so FAST. I am about to embark on my final year of undergraduate study, and I really don't know how to feel about it. What happens next? What do I WANT to happen next? It kinda sucks that we've been made to feel that we have to decide our futures as soon as possible. And because of that, I kinda don't wanna get it wrong. That's why I'm hoping this year doesn't go fast, so I can have time to thhhhhhinkkkkkk. Although thinking has gotten boring and I've gotten to a stage where all I do instead is eat my thoughts away (I have recently been caught several times, sprawled out on the kitchen floor, just eating). To be honest, I would rather focus on how amazing my discounted Ben and Jerry's ice cream tastes, and set myself challenges like 'how fast can I reach the bottom of this ice cream tub', rather than have to sit and think of all the money problems and challenges I'll probably face in the future. I NEED TO STOP EATING MY EMOTIONS GODDAMNIT. I think it's just the fear of the unknown. I'd love to know how things are gonna work out for me. Right now, I just feel kind apathetic about it all.
Anyway, rather than reading the books I should be reading for my dissertation, I decided to revisit Tupac Shakur's poetry book 'The Rose that Grew From Concrete' today. I thought I'd share one of the poems from it, because I absolutely LOVE that book. If you haven't read it then I really recommend you do. It has a lot of different themes so there is bound to be at least one you like. I have 2 favourites, which I would share, but they kinda mean a lot to me and I'M SELFISH AND WANNA KEEP THEM TO MYSELF OKAY?lol. I haven't really done this in a post before, but it's a new month, so why not eh!
When your heart turns cold
(2 Kristen & my other friends who wonder)
it causes your soul 2 freeze
It spreads throughout your spirit
like a ruthless feeling disease
The walls that once were down
now stand firm and tall
Safe from hate/love, pain/joy
until u feel nothing at all
When ure heart turns cold
a baby's cry means nothing
A dead corpse is trivial
Mothers neglecting children is daily
Loneliness becomes your routine friend
Death seems like tranquility
Sleeping is never pleasant
if u even sleep at all
u forgot ideals and turn off the reason
2 make sure the product gets sold
You don't understand how I behave
Just wait till your heart turns Cold!